Flagons
A runaway princess hiding from a treacherous count takes a job as a serving wench in the worst tavern in the kingdom, where a washed-up swordsman, a secretly female blacksmith, a hapless wizard and a lovesick troll become the unlikely family she never had.
EXT. PALACE COURTYARD - NIGHT
COUNT LEREASOH, a pale man dressed in a black cloak, stands in the shadows of the palace walls holding a shuttered lantern. Before him stand Burke and Boeuf, two goblins looking sheepish. One is in heavy armour and carries an unwieldy pike, the other wears a soft leather jerkin.
COUNT LEREASOH
What do you mean gone?
BURKE
She wasn’t there, sir. She must have heard us somehow and bolted.
BOEUF
No idea how, your Lordship. We was quiet as mice. Really quiet mice. Mice in slippers. Soft comfy slippers. Lovely little, comfy-slippered mice.
COUNT LEREASOH
I get the picture.
BURKE
She must have hearing like a bat, sir.
BOEUF
Bats are really just mice with wings, you know?
BURKE
Will you shut up about mice.
COUNT LE’REASOH
Did you question the handmaiden?
BURKE
Yes, but she’s almost as frightening as you.
COUNT LE’REASOH
I doubt that. Can she arrange for you to be boiled in oil, skinned then boiled in oil again?
BOEUF
Ooh, is anyone else hungry?