En Garde

I'm the best at fencing in the North East. That's not bragging either, it's just pointedly true. County level, easy. England, if I could be bothered with the travel.

People don't understand the skill involved. They see the final outcome and think anyone could do it. They couldn't. A lad from Durham thought he could foil me once. He didn’t.

It's all in the line, see. Get that wrong and you’re done for, and everyone sees it. You can't hide a bad line in this game.

I might take up driving next. Three doors down could do with theirs repaving.